Be Yourself – Do it!

Hello Fellow Moms/Crafty People,

There’s been something stewing in my head for a few days so I thought I’d get it out on fake paper (AKA – my blog), to let it out/perhaps inspire myself to do something about it. I’ve been thinking of how I used to doodle all the time as a kid and teenager, then one day, I went to work and while I still dabbled in drawing while I was on the phone or something, I just never really got back into my art. It wasn’t for lack of interest, I kind of just stopped doing things for my own enjoyment and started doing everything out of necessity. It wasn’t that hard to do given the lifestyle I was used to living (which wasn’t real living imo), which was go to college, do homework, go to work on the weekends, come home and do more homework then back to it the next day, then after college, having not achieved much with that avenue, going to a dead-end job every day just for a paycheck and to try to make everyone else like me. Why would I do that you ask? Well, let’s just say, I grew up always wanting to please everyone since I felt so rejected by many people/misunderstood that at one point I stopped trying to be myself and started trying to be the ‘perfect’ person for everyone else which kind of left me empty inside. Sure, I still had some things I liked and did, but I never kept on being myself for fear of offending someone, getting yelled at, ignored, or rejected in some other way. I didn’t get a lot of praise in the right ways growing up, at least not in the ways that mattered to me, so I’ve always tried to be somebody else, someone better – that elusive person whom I could never be because it was never good enough and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get away from being at least a little bit myself.

After I got married, I started a new life with the kind of moral support I so desired, and got someone else’s objective thoughts on things. Then I started to realize that what I was doing was unhealthy so I started to think about the whole people pleasing thing. After learning more about how God created us to be uniquely ourselves for His glory, it got me thinking about how wrong it was that I just wanted to be whatever everyone else wanted me to be and how I should change that. Well, let’s just say, after you’ve been acting and thinking a certain way for most of your life, it takes a LOT of time and effort to start doing differently, but I know it’s best so at least now I haven’t resigned to just going through the motions, but at least to make an effort to push past any thoughts of rejection or people pleasing and just be myself one step at a time. It sounds childish, and in many ways I see myself like a child still learning who I am, but I am still figuring out how to just be me and just do the crafty/creative/silly things that I enjoy doing for fun. Yes, adults and parents can still do those things, you just need to make a decision not to give up on yourself. If you want to be a robot, go ahead, but if you want to be yourself and enjoy life as it was meant to be enjoyed, go ahead and be yourself the best way you know how. It doesn’t mean doing things that are immoral if that’s what you want to do, but just dressing how you want, talking about your favourite subjects without fear of rejection, drawing/creating as you want and not worrying about it being ‘perfect’ for everyone else – so long as you like it that’s what matters after all, and just being YOU. It sounds simple, but it isn’t always especially when you’ve been traumatized in childhood. But it is possible with God’s help and the love of friends & family/community. You can do it! Yes. You. Can!

Go ahead, be yourself. I dare you!

Until next post,

*~Roxy~*

Learning to Be Me

Hi,

How is your weekend so far? Mine has been pretty exhausting but in a good way, just happy that things are getting done including kicking my own butt to get in shape again. ;p But that’s for another blog entry… What I want to express today is my sheer thanks to God that I am me, and no one else. Not in a big headed kind of way, (as anyone who knows me can easily vouch for me), I am learning that it’s okay to be myself. May sound silly to many people, as I am an adult and should already have discovered that a long time ago. But unfortunately as happens in many people’s lives, sometimes we let past failures, bad comments, or our own fears control us into thinking we have to just be like everyone else – as in dress like everyone else, do our hair like everyone else, talk like everyone else and like what everyone else likes, when in fact that is so not true. Even as a Mommy blogger, I feel compelled to make my blog look like everyone else’s blog, but I am forcing myself to just make it the way I want to, as I would be giving in to yet more people pleasing. Well, you can follow me along in this adventure of life, as I learn to be myself, and not to rely on my own strength or talents, but to go where the Lord leads me. Yes, it’s true I’m Christian, and I am happy to be so. Do not let me intimidate you, but rather share what I have learned in my walk so far and what I keep learning in my walk with God.

As our pastor pointed out today, we all have failed in many areas, but God has plans for each of us, and we need to keep getting up when we fall. It’s not the falling that should be our focus, as everyone falls at some point, but it should be our getting back up that we should make sure we focus on and asking God for His Strength and Guidance. But I digress, what I want to share with all of you is that indeed, I will not always agree with your choices, and you will not always agree with mine, however, can we agree that when someone makes a statement about something that is important to them, to try to avoid knocking that other person’s opinion? It’s quite easy actually, it’s called listening. I need to work on listening and not interrupting too, so I’m not perfect. But since I have trouble expressing myself without feeling bad about it after, can we agree that we are all different which is fine, and that when someone is doing something that is just a matter of personal style or taste, that we leave our bad comments to ourselves? That’s something I think we can all achieve. Afterall, isn’t the saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?” I thought we all learned that in kindergarten or maybe earlier. I’m sure we all teach our kids that, so why can’t we follow through with it? Is it that hard not to say something when you disagree with someone? I mean, unless someone is asking for your opinion, or if something is dangerous in some way, should we not encourage each other to be ourselves and to feel safe expressing our feelings? Should I have to hide my feelings or dress a certain way/act a certain way to gain other’s approval? Or should I feel like I’m less of a person because every time I say something that’s important to me, someone else knocks me down? No. Clearly not, as God does not want us to live in fear, or to pretend to be someone we’re not. I hope at least one person reading this will remember that they are a child of God, who purposely made us each different for His Own Purposes, and that He delights in our uniqueness, not in being anyone else. It is our uniqueness that makes us who we are, and if each of us would feel free to just be ourselves, there would be so much creativity flowing in this world, and beauty. Alas, there will always be critics, which is fine, but please allow for freedom of expression, please do not supress the beauty that is in another individual just because you do not agree with it. I mean, if you’re good at judging others, that is something you need to work on, but please be courteous to others. I am also working on taking the brunt of negativity and rudeness and whatever else the world throws at me, and saying to myself, “Just breathe… do not focus on it, but focus on God’s Truth and Love.” Unforgiveness and hurt can well up inside so easily, especially I think for women as we are really emotional creatures, (my husband can attest to this), and we need to stop and think before we criticize others or ourselves. We need to stop living like robots and start living like the women God made us to be, strong in Christ and free to be individuals in all ways. So as this blog title states, I’m learning to be me, and I’m happy with that decision, so there!
*grins* Now to walk it… please pray for me that I keep remembering this on a daily basis and that I allow myself to do so.

With Love,

Roxy