How are things down at the hen house? (Or wherever you call home?) In my world, there has been a lot hanging on the air lately, and while it does worry me sometimes, I just have to keep giving it all to God. That’s how I’m surviving and have been surviving for a long time. But I’m tired of just surviving truth be told. I almost forget sometimes what it was like to have dreams and goals as those things seemed to have washed away forever. And while I know it’s possible to get them back, sometimes it’s like all I can see is fog and I just have to keep stepping forward not knowing where I’ll end up, but trusting it’s somewhere good. My reasoning is, well if I’m not going backwards it must be positive right? Well, there’s a time for moving forward, a time for sitting and thinking, and at times, a time to look into the past and try to heal from things that need healing from. Right now, I believe I’m in the phase of looking back, and no it’s not pretty or easy, but I know it’s something that must happen if I’m ever going to be able to move ahead in life, regardless of what life throws at me. It’s been a rough couple months or more, and I know that God is showing me that things must change, but now they’ve been stepped up a bit, I think partially because I refused to just do things of my own will. And at times, that’s how we must act – by being prodded along. It may seem dumb, but we can be like cattle can’t we? If all we see is the field in front of us and we’re content to keep eating the same grass there, but God knows there’s better stuff out there for us, bigger and better fields, ‘fields of dreams’ as they say, then sometimes He allows us to go through some harder times to get there. I know for me, unfortunately, a lot of my own issues stem from hurts not dealt with, so I need to take initiative and finally deal with those issues. It’s the only way I’ll ever truly be a complete human being. I don’t like who I am right now, not in the ‘nice person’ way, but in the people pleasing, mousy-me kind of way that always views myself in a way that is not pleasing to God/worthy of His calling. I am not worthy of anything, trust me, but moreso, I should be walking in a way that shows I appreciate the life God gave me and love myself in the healthy kind of way. It’s okay to love yourself, I think a lot of people, moms especially can view that as being ‘vain’. Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but really, if you don’t love yourself, how are you ever going to love anyone else the way you’re supposed to? We are not called to be slaves or to hate ourselves, and yet, so many times I feel that myself along with many other people out there are living mindlessly, carelessly, not living life to the fullest and that is what our enemy wants. It is sad and cannot go on. But I digress…
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Till next post, God Bless!
I’m cheering you on to victory!