I’m Not Alone

Today marks one year from the day that I went in for day surgery to clean out my body after having a miscarriage. Today last year I had to say goodbye to a baby I never met in person, but whom I carried for almost 3 months in my womb. Today I am sad, yet joyful that God made the decision He did as He knew that in this point in time we would not have the finances to care for another child, and that perhaps other issues would be at play. I miss our little one, but I am reminded that God Loves all of us, and His Ways are not mine, and His Plans are not my own, and that He does know best. It was a long road of depression to get to the place I am at now, and yes, I still grieve just not so often and the pain is not so intense as I know where my child is. And he or she is in Good Hands – God’s Hands. So in all this, I am reminded that I am not alone.

If anyone reading this has recently miscarried, know this, that God Loves your child too, and he or she is in a better place. By all means, as much you love your child, we need to also realize, that no matter how much it hurts that we cannot see our little ones right now, that God is taking good care of them in Heaven. And Heaven is the best place to be – hey, it’s where I want to be – and it doesn’t get better than that! In Heaven, there is no pain, no sadness, no hurt, no hunger, no sin, no fears, just love. LOVE. Imagine that. Just love. I can’t wait!!

I am reminded that God’s Love is all encompassing so much so that even in the midst of my despair, He is there, and He is changing me from the inside out, where it counts. I don’t need to carry all my hurts anymore, because I am a new creation in Christ. There IS hope, no matter what anyone else thinks, because He Is God. Amen.

May God comfort all those who are hurting right now, and may He show you the joy and hope that He has in store for you.

Love,

Roxy

Clean Detox diet (week 2 close)

Hello again readers,

As I reflect on the 2nd week of this cleanse, I realize just how much self-control I’ve had to have, and I’m quite shocked at how well I’ve done so far. I mean, yes, it’s hard not snacking, especially on things that I crave like sugar and chips, but what’s even harder for me anyways, is the fact that I have to have soup for supper every single day! And normally I’d be fine having soup most days, but I’m one of those people who just really enjoys hearty soups – soups with some meat to them. I like potatoes and tomatoes, or to thicken soups with flour/cornstarch, but I can’t have any of those things on this diet. And last night was no exception – I finished off some spaghetti squash soup from the night before, and yes, it’s tasty because it has some sweetness to it, but either the texture or the sweetness made me feel like throwing up. I think I’m reaching my limit  in terms of the soup thing, so I may have to resort to smoothies for suppers as well as my morning ones. I just really like thicker/heartier soups and this weak, all-veggie stuff is getting me down. Other than that, I’m happy to report that I’ve lost some poundage – 5 lbs to be exact. And that’s fine by me. I realize that I need to do more exercise in order to tone up more, but so far, I’m pleased that my pants are fitting me better. I’m still not down to what I was last january (before I got pregnant and had a miscarriage), but I’m getting there. My body just needs to get back to it’s normal metabolism/pace and I know the pounds will melt right off. At least that’s the way it’s always worked with me. I’m usually pretty good about eating healthy/keeping snacking in check, but I had gone through much depression last year, so it is even more significant to me that I’m doing this cleanse as it’s further motivation to keep eating right and to exercise more. I spent enough time feeling bad, which is fine, as everyone needs time to grieve, but now it’s time for change. I’m also in a transition phase of where I’m trying to earn some extra money for our family, through our book cover design business, and by trying to find work. Please pray for us that everything works out soon, as these are tough times and I am trying to keep faith that things will improve. I’m doing my part to move forward, I just need some extra help from above. Thanks!

God Bless you,

Roxy